I wish the world made more sense . . .

It has honestly been one of those weeks where one thing after another seems to go wrong. But instead of losing my keys or having my car break down (although it kind of did), or spilling hot cocoa on myself it was more of a I got in skirmish after skirmish with people I care about. Most of them were just silly ones that were easily resolved. Others not so much. And the worst part is I still don’t know how to handle everything. I have all the facts, you know? But my blasted emotions always seem to get in the way. Why do humans always have to be so emotional? Why do they have to care? It just makes everything so complicated. Instead of black or white we are continuously grey. We feel angry, hurt, but hopeful all at once. Do we push and fight to keep something we care about or do we just let it go? It should just be a simple answer. But it’s not. Life is never simple.

I went to a world religions institute class on Wednesday. It was amazing. We were talking about Buddhism. It was so intriguing. and I want to learn more. One of their main principles is Life is Suffering. We talked for over an hour about it. Yes, life includes suffering. If you live on this earth you will suffer in some way. We can’t escape it. The teacher gave four reasons for why we suffer . . . 1) Because of our own sins. 2) Because we live in a fallen world and the conditions of mortality bring pain and suffering. 3) Because of the sins and transgressions’ of others in which we have no control. And 4) Because we suffer for righteousness sake. And yet, the whole lesson was about hope and why we should be happy. Just because suffering exists that does not mean happiness should not exist too. We just have to be willing to find it.

He gave us a quote by Elder Orson F. Whitney, “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God.” So, then I think to myself. How am I letting my current predicament build my character, purify my heart and expand my soul? I feel so sad about it all. I just want it to be better. Fixed. I just want everything to be how I thought it was. But how can I when I know the reality? Sometimes you can’t go back. Not sometimes. You just can’t go back. But then I think there have been times when I lost something but it turned out better and that I had gained more. Is this one of those times? I don’t know.

Then I think of this quote that was also said in institute, “Things work out, it isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out, don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in him, if we will pray to him, if we will live worthy of his blessings, he will hear our prayers.” -Gordon B. Hinckley.

I just need to do my best. And I need to forgive. I’m not always the perfect friend myself. At the same time I think it is ok if I am cautious.

So You Think You Can Dance Week Three

Over all, the dances were not stunning this week. But a few were enjoyable. In third place I would put Kopono and Kayla’s Vienese Waltz. In second, I would put Evan and Randi’s butt dance and in first I would put Jeanette and Brandon’s hip hop vs. rock dance. I have included the top two. Poor Jason and Caitlin were put in the bottom three again. It sucks because I feel like they keep getting stuck with horrible cheorography and costumes and songs. But hopefully, next week will be better. Oh and Jason plays soccer. I know . . . he just gets better and better. I would kiss him.

A Visit From Renbeth, Gretchen and Isaac!

My beautiful sister came to visit me! Happiness! Okay technically they came to see everyone but that isn’t the point. We had a lovely time. On the first day we went to PF Changs as a family. Delicious food as always. Although our waiter sucked. Before we left my father told Juan not to get pulled over in his car. Amusingly enough we did. But it was stupid because Juan wasn’t actually aware that he was speeding. Anyway, I’m paying the ticket but how ironic that is happened. Let’s see the following week we played a lot of games, ate food (we went to an Indian Food restaurant that was so good and we all fell in love with their Naan, which is Indian bread), went to the park, went shopping, watched He’s Just Not That Into You, talked, etc.

One of the highlights was when Isaac was playing with Juan and me. He was at Juan’s computer banging away. Juan took his microphone, moved away so Isaac could not see him and then said “Hello Isaac” in a really deep voice. Isaac’s eyes widened thinking the voice had come from the computer and he puts his hands in the air and goes “Whoa” and then again louder “Whoa!” It was so funny. Juan and I laughed and laughed about it. I seriously have the cutest nephew.

I loved talking with Renbeth as always. She opened my eyes on a couple of things pertaining to my love life. Oh we also when and got Renbeth’s hair cut at my hair sallon. It looks fantastic! And it was fun to take her to my spot. On Thursday we (Renbeth, Gretchen, Isaac, Juan and I) went to Jackson to drop them off. Then Juana nd I went to Rexburg so I could visit Chellebelle and George! George is soooo sweet. After spending time with my nephew all week and holding George it made my desire to be a mother really come out. I’m not baby crazy. I just want one. Of course, I want a man first. : )

Anyway, the visit was very pleasant. I love having my sister around. And of course, I love kissing Isaac up the wazoo!IMG_2873

Favorite Dance Week Two

I just think this dance is gorgeous. This partnership is in my top three. My favorites are Jason and Caitlin, Evan and Randi and of course, Jonathan and Karla. The first time I heard the song I didn’t really like it but then my sister, Renbeth showed me the duet version and I started to really like it and now I love this version too. And the dance is just so dreamlike. I love love love it!

Oh and check out my favorite dance from week one. Jason and Caitlin’s Bollywood.

My Sister’s Keeper

I am so pumped for this movie. It always makes me tear up to watch the preview. And even more I love the song in this preview, Life is Beautiful. : )

So You Think You Can Dance Season Five has begun . . .

so_you_think_you_can_dance And I am impressed! First of all I love this show completely but last season was kind of blah to be honest. Several of the dancers bothered me. The dances themselves were weak and not overly amazing. But dude! This season is starting out freaking brilliant. I don’t hate anyone. Tonight was the first episode of actual dancing and they were marvelous. I didn’t hate a single dance. In fact, many of them I wanted to watch over and over again. My favorite couples so far are Jason and Caitlin (first time I’ve adored a Bollywood dance), Randi and Evan (mainly Evan. He’s a broadway boy and manly. How can I not love him). And I though Ade and Melissa were brilliant too. (I loved all of the lifts). And like I said I didn’t hate anyone. I will sad to see any of them go but I will not be upset that someone didn’t go. I am so stinkin’ pleased right now! Happiness! Top 20

A Journey to the Past . . .

This past weekend Saneesha, Juan and myself took a little roadtrip to New Mexico, the land of Enchantment and the place I grew up. It was an excellent trip. Saneesha said she had never seen Juan and I be so giddy as we saw our old schools, home, stores, etc. It  was dream like. It was as if we had never left and yet the place seemed empty. My life was not there even though everything about it screamed home.

I wanted so much to go into our old home. But perhaps it was better I could not. Although it was up for sale. IMG_2954The reminiscing would not stop. Poor Saneesha. Actually, Saneesha earned the nick name “Trooper” from Juan on this trip. Not only had she sprained her ankle before she came on the trip but she had also gotten a nasty stomach flu and could hardly eat anything. And she had to listen to me and Juan gab on and on about this place and that. This is why she is my best friend. Another reason why Saneesha is a good sport is Juan and I kept talking about dropping her off at random places and leaving her there: the Holy Ghost Reservation, the animal vacation center (the place you leave your pets), other random buildings we spotted on the trip. Ha ha! Good times.

Oh, the restaurants! If only I could take all of the restaurants from NM and put them here in UT. New Mexico has the best food. Hands down. We got to go to Wecks for breakfast twice. It was complete heaven. The delicious bacon and egg burrito smother in cheese and green chili. My lips feeling that slight tingle from the chili. My mouth waters just thinking about it.IMG_2964

Let’s see activities we did: tour Rio Rancho, went to the zoo, swam at the hotels, ate delicious food, went and saw the Carlsbad Caverns, visited my childhood best friend, Jean, played catch at the hotel, watched movies, had deep and profound conversations, sang in the car, laughed and all around enjoyed ourselves.

At the Zoo Saneesha and I rode the camel. The funniest part was when Juan was taking our picture on the camel. There was a woman right next to him ready to take a pic of her little child who was on the next camel behind us. Juan turns to the woman and says proudly, “Those are mine.” It was pretty funny.

The Caverns of course, were brilliant. My imagination soars everytime they enter those caves. I have new story ideas, etc. And it just makes me giddy (insert my hand thing). At one point I was telling Saneesha how aliens had taken over the caves and when people went in the aliens made alien clones of them and then killed the originals which meant that we (Juan and myself) were actually alien clones since we had already been there. This didn’t seem to bother Saneesha at all. The funniest part was later on when we were driving home Saneesha said something funny andJuan was like “Are you even human?” and she responded dead seriously, “Well, you took me to the caves!” It was hilarious. It may have been one of those you had to be there moments but it made us all give a hearty chuckle. Be sure to also ask one of us about the Elevator man. Good times. IMG_3011

Again, the trip was marvelous. But I am glad to be home. These is something so beautiful about sleeping in your own bed. You can move around and no one slugs you in the face with their elbow. It’s true, Saneesha decked me one night. It was kind of funny.  The whole trip was jovial.

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