I need prettier hands . . .

No, seriously. I think this is why I haven’t been going on dates. I have ugly hands. As in they are hardly feminine. I have large fingers and fat nails or rather wide and they are short. Oh my goodness. I have George Coztanza nails. Sick. The point is I am working on making them nicer. I am growing them out. I am going to take care of my cubicles. And then in February I am going to get a manicure professionally done. I think it will add in my confidence. I know it seems like such a little thing. But usually confidence comes from the little things. Right?

Michael Flatley has some competition . . .

Okay, I grew up watching Riverdance so I know Michael Flatley well. If you don’t, you might want to watch a youtube video of him first just so you can understand how truly hilarious this is. I couldn’t help but laugh.

House at Riverton . . .

House at Riverton by Kate Morton. A book my childhood best friend, Jenna, gave me for Christmas. I have read it quickly. Instantly, I was caught up in the story, the scandal, the mystery. And the book was excellent. But at the same time . . . I am . . . I don’t know what I am actually. Sad, angry, inrigued? All of the above maybe. From the beginning you know that the poet dies. It’s written on the back of the book. And maybe it’s just how it happened that upsets. How all of the stupid things happened. How they could have been so easily prevented if the truth had just come out, if people had just been themselves, if a war had never happened. The book made me realize how our lives can change so completely in just a moment, with one simple decision. Our lives are made up of choices. Choices that we need. We need our agency even if sometimes we hate what we do with it. And how can one choice that seems so right at the moment really be so wrong? Does that make sense? I think I’m blabbering. My mind is a whirlwind after having read the book and there is no one really to discuss it with seeing as no one else of my acquaintance has read it. I just . . . I’m so preturbed. So irritated and not sure that I wouldn’t have made the same choices. Tragedy. A real tragedy is when it all really just depended on the choices. If just that one thing had not been done, if only that one thing had been said, if only that one misconception had been corrected. But I suppose you can always ‘what if’ it but once a certain choice is made and a certain consequence has followed you can’t very well go back and change the choice. I just wish I had someone to really discuss this with. Urgh. Don’t you hate it when you have a million thoughts and you just want to talk . . . oh well. The point is the book was good. Even if I hate that life sucks sometimes and it doesn’t turn out in fairy tale endings. Love . . . I don’t always get it. I don’t always get myself. Okay, I should stop now. This is probably the most confusing blog entry anyone has ever read.

Christmas, New Years and Weddings

My Christmas was delightful . . . got some fun things such as a Flip Camera, a dvd/vcr player, a board game called Louis XIV (which I still argue was more blood thirsty than Bismark), some great films (Chocolat, My Fair Lady, State Fair, etc), Henry VIII chocolates (From England- Renbeth got them for me), a romance pro/con list (hard to explain), a couple books, a t-shirt that has my cannibals eating a clown joke (thank you  Guadalupe), an “I know . . . right” sign (again thank you Guadalupe) and a ton of other good stuff including edibles. Needless to say I have much to be thankful for.

For New Years Guadalupe, Beezer (my other roomy) and I went to the Institute Dance. Was it thrilling? No. But it was fine and we were proud of ourselves for being so social.

As far as weddings . . . I attended two and went to three different receptions. 3 weddings in one month. Talk about every 24 single girl’s dream. Ha ha no it wasn’t that bad. The first was just a reception. The thing that sucked there was not so much the fact that I was reminded of how alone I am but my car broke down, had to get it towed and had to pay $300.00 to get it fixed. Oh the joys. The second wedding was for a girl who is practically a sister. The Hunting Family (As I will call them for this blog) is a second family to me. Rochelle was my best friend in college and her little sister LeeLee got married. It was the first Temple wedding I was able to experience. It was lovely. Oh and I did everyone’s hair (bridesmaids, the mother of the bride and the bride herself). I was quite proud of myself. That one I felt a little more down about life. The wedding was wonderful and I loved seeing everyone and I was so happy for my darling LeeLee but I just  . . . you know.

Well, our third one was for Guadalupe’s brother. It went really well. Not only did I get proposed to but I was chipper the whole time. I didn’t feel depressed or alone. Weird. But not really.

See, the last couple months have really sucked for me. I’ve been horrible. Oh you wouldn’t think that just seeing me because I was the usual Freckles everyone knows (I’m a great actress). The point is I felt a part of me missing. I was constantly down, pessimistic, sad, lonely and miserable. I felt discouraged about everything just thinking that I was not enough. Not a good enough friend, sister, daughter or possible girlfriend for anyone. Blah is a great way to describe my feelings. Poor Renbeth had to put up with me calling her depressed frequently. Well, then something happened. I went to church on the Sunday after Christmas. I was feeling down and planned on leaving right after sacrament meeting. As I listened to the first speaker they said something about hope. Can’t remember the specifics but it made something click in my brain. I had no hope. My hope was a sliver if even that. And I need hope to be me. I had my passion, my love, my testimony, my caring, my faith, etc but no stinkin’ hope.

So, then my thought was how do I get the hope back? What is hope? I concluded hope was having felt or seen a small something to leadyou to believe there was something greater. For instance, in the movie the Secret Garden in the mess of dead plants Mary and Dickens (think that’s his name) find wick. And they had hope that a beautiful garden could grow. This made me realize that I needed my own wick. And then it hit . . . I needed to pray to feel Christ’s love. May sound cheesy but seriously is there a greater power? No. I knew that if I prayed for it I would feel it and then I would get my hope back.  But then I suddenly didn’t want to. I begin to think stupid things like “Well, if I pray for it, I know I’ll feel it, and I know I will get my hope back and then I’ll be happy and I don’t want the Lord to think I’m satisfied because I’m not. Maybe it is better for him to see me miserable so that he’ll give me the things I want.” Ridiculous, huh? I suppose we all have our moments of being dumb though.

Our Bishop helped me see that in RS/P. We had a combined lesson and he taught. He talked about how we should be praying for revelation and then we needed to just act on it. I realized that I had gotten mine and I needed to just do it. As Juan would say I needed to “Buck up and get over it.” So, I started to pray for the love and ever since then I feel like me again. I smile and mean it. At the wedding for Guadalupe’s brother I seriously felt no heart ache at all. I just felt excited for when it would happen for me. And I feel now like it will. I feel hope for some other things I was discouraged about too. It is seriously amazing what feeling Christ’s love for you can do for you. I’m back in the game. My hope is getting stronger and I’m good.

Oh some New Years Resolutions: My usual from the Poisonwood Bible I am gonna be kind to myself. And I have another one but I’ll keep that to myself. : )

Um . . .

I officially give up and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Pie in the face and singing High School Musical . . .

So, today was the sub for santa assembly at our high school. It was neat because Guadalupe was there to be a guest speaker for my history classes. She was speaking on how journalism makes history. So nice. Anyway, we are standing there. And I already knew that I would be singing the Breaking Free song from High School Musical near the end. The students had to raise at least 2000 bucks first ( they give the money to families in the community who don’t have money to have a Christmas). So, they have a bunch of activities to raise money. One of those things was throwing pies into peoples’ faces. They already had two assigned teachers (who has previously agreed) to have pies thrown in their faces. All students had to do was pay five dollars to throw a pie in their face. Well, I turn to Guadalupe and say, “I am so glad I am not being pied. I’d rather do anything else than have pie in my face.” About two minutes later one of the exec students turns to me with the mike and says, “Hey Miss Hall someone had offered to pay double if you are the one they can pie.” I was like “No, thank you.”

And then my group of boys (some students I had last year that I totally love) come running over to me (apparently they are the ones who had offered to pay double). They are all, “Miss Hall, you have to. Think about the children.” And honestly, what can you say after they bring in the children. So, I agree. But I was wearing nice clothes . . . they were like “Don’t worry Miss Hall we will put ceran wrap around you so your clothes don’t get messy.” Not really comforting. Especially when they have you sit in a chair (in front of the whole school, might I add) and start to ceran wrap you to the chair so you can’t move. Now, before the paid for pie gets put into my face several of theboys take remenants from other pies and put them in my face. And then my aid (who I call Punky and was the one who offered to pay double) comes over and boom puts the pie squarely in my face. Apparently, he did a really good job and the whole pie came out and stayed on my face. Seriously, the thought in my mind was This is what drowning in pie matter would feel like. Anyway, Punky clears the pie from my face but instead of releasing me and giving me a towel instead they start yelling “Put her in the cage!” So the group of boys pick up my chair. And I’m yelling, “Don’t let me drop. Don’t drop me!” They carry me over to a metal wire cage and stick me inside. Why? Not really sure. Apparently, it is fun to put me in a cage. So, I’m just chilling there in the middle of the gym in front of the school, still inhaling pie, ceran wrapped to a chair, with a tiara on my head (they gave me a tiara and no I didn’t get to keep it. Suck, right?) in a cage. I turn and look at Guadalupe and she just shrugs like, ‘you’re-crazy-if-you-think-I-am-gonna-try-and-save-you.’

Well, after a few moments of experiencing what it would be like to be in a zoo, they have to let me out because I am suppose to sing this High School Musical song. And let me just tell you it was not easy to get me. I got stuck a couple times. Pictures were taken. Yeah . . . adventure. The song went well. But they only had one mike so it was hard for people to hear us. But I did  have students tell me I did a pretty good job.

So adventurous day right? Well, to top it off I burned my armpit this morning with the crimper. How? With intricate and awkward movements let me tell you. But I have this really red spot on my arm pit. Sometimes, it is just interesting to be me and have freckles.

So funny school story . . .

I have a young lady in my class who is autistic . . . which explains why she is also very socially awkward. But she is a sweetheart and she can memorize movie lines like nobody’s business. Anyway, she has a tendancy to say things loudly throughout my lectures. On Wednesday I was going over Bacon’s Rebellion. And me being the clever wit that I am made one of my hilarious history jokes. I said, “Now Bacon is referring to a man as opposed to a herd of angry pigs.” I got a few smiles but really only one hearty laugh from this particular young lady. So I said, “Well, at least someone appreciates my jokes.” And she says loudly, “Oh, it wasn’t funny. I just laughed.” This cracked the whole class up.

This particular young lady was also the one to say (when she found out I was not married) “Wow, aren’t you like one out of the two teachers in this school not married?” Yep, she is keeping me humble. Ha ha but no she really can be the sweetest thing and she told me the other day she liked talking to me because I would let her ramble on and most of her other teachers would not let her. So, I know she likes me. Good times in class.

Legion of Extraordinary Dancers

So, my mom showed me this group that made a guest appearance on SYTYCD. Nuts, these guys are nuts. And I love them.

I love Glee . . .

I totally adore this show. I love the music, the humor, etc. I think my favorite two characters are Emma Pillsbury (played by Jayma Mays) and Will Schuester (played by Matthew Morrison). I relate the most to Jayma except for the germ phobia thing. But I totally would be in love with Will and he totally would be married to an awful woman. I do find Sue hilarious. She’s awful but amusing. Fluffy thinks I need to be more like her. Probably. Probably my favorite musical numbers so far on the show would be Sweet Caroline that Puck sings, Don’t Stop Believing, I could Have Danced All Night and Halo Mashup. Of course, the Singles Ladies Football dance was classic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanksgiving Trip

Needless to say I had a delightful time inNew York with my sissy. So here it is . . . (the trip)

Well, Juan and I spent all day in the airport. That was not overly exciting. And it felt weird not being able to go to church. And I had to buy food. Which also felt weird seeing as shopping on Sunday just doesn’t happen with me. Ironically tough, the best part of the trip was when Juan and I ate at a Chile’s in the airport. Chiles is my favorite. And it gave us something to do during our layover. On the four and a half plane ride I was stuck next to a large woman with a strange odor. That was not great but I suppose every trip has its ups and downs. Renbeth came and picked us up. We went home and ate a little tomato soup with noodles, chatted and then went to bed. Isaac was already asleep.

The next morning Renbeth woke me up so that I could take care of Isaac while she ran Gretchen to work. I did not mind this at all. It was so good to see my little Isaac. I think our best connection during the trip was I did this cheek trick thing with him where I would blow up one cheek and he would poke it and I would switch over to the other side. Does that even make sense? Not sure but he loved it. He found it hysterical. After Renbeth got back and Juan woke up we went to the famous Wegmens (apparently the greatest store on earth– although at one point it lacked fruit mentos- ha ha) Then we went home and Renbeth had to go to work for a little bit so Juan and I tended Isaac. I love that kid. So so cute and he really is obsessed with the Newsies. Then when Renbeth and Gretchen came home we ate at a nice Restaurant that I can’t currently think of the name. I got a cowboy stew and it was quite delicious. I’m a sucker for soups and stews. Then we went home played some games (I won at nerts) and it was time for bed.

Next day I flooded the bathroom. How you might ask? Simply by flushing. So, that was an adventure. Then we went shopping for pants for me and so that I could get Isaac his Christmas gifts ( a way cute shirt and toy train that spells out his name-very classy). We played some more games and such. Renbeth and I are were able to chat some (which I always love- there is just something wonderful about sisters talking).

Wednesday, played games, played with Isaac and we went to the allusive Tea Room. It was fun to get to sit on the ground. The desserts were really tiny (delicious) but stinkin small for the price. But they use everything organic and such so they have to raise the price I think. It was fun. Renbeth always talks about going there and it was just cool to see that segment of her life. We played monopoly that night. Gretchen killed us the first time and then Renbeth won the second time we played (although Juan came in close).  I just sucked at it.

Thursday, Thanksgiving! Well, I did get stomache sick right before dinner, and I got pepper in my eye and had to rinse it out with water and keep a cold wash cloth on my face (the burning sensation was not enjoyable– reminded me of the time I got Chipolte powder in my eye.) But the rest was marvelous. We played Risk. Juan won that but I came in second and for a moment I had every country in the world but two. Oh the beauty of world domination!!! We also watched a brilliant film called Lars and the Real Girl. When I first saw previews I thought it looked lame and slap sticky. So noteither of those. It was beautiful and I reccommend it anyone. The food was scrumptious (of course, my sick stomach did not let me eat as much as I wanted to). WE played more games. And then it was off to bed.

In the morning we planned on leaving at eight because our flight left at ten. Or so we thought. I’m drying my hair and Renbeth runs into the bathroom and informs me that she has just checked our airlines flight and mine doesn’t exist. Needless to say freak out followed. It turns out they had cancelled the flight but Travelocity failed to send me my new flight plan. It just sent me the old so I had no clue. The flight they switched me to was an early morning flight and we had definitely missed it. Renbeth did some calling and got Juan and I a later flight. So, Juan and I were stuck in the airport again for most of the day. Oh well, right? Builds character as my daddyboy would say. We did get to spend a little extra time with Renbeth, Gretchen and Isaac. We went to the mall and I got a yummy pretzel.

Okay cutest Isaac things . . . he says Thank You now. And he will thank you for things you didn’t even do but it is so cute. He also says “please” mainly “Chee plee” which translates into “Cheese please.” The kid is in love with cheeze. He can also say Juan’s name but not mine. Sad day huh? Oh I love it when he talks though. Juan got him a toy plane for his b-day. He calls it “Up sky” Oh so cute. Anyway, I should go eat breakfast and get ready for the day. We are having a second Thanksgiving dinner with my parents today. I know. I’m lucky.